


I Want You to Call Me a Bitch

by Anya_Marie



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-10
Updated: 2020-02-10
Packaged: 2021-02-22 12:53:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22650283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anya_Marie/pseuds/Anya_Marie
Summary: Relationships are a complicated thing. When you like someone, you don't want to fight with them, you don't want to hurt them. But have you ever thought that, sometimes, some fighting's necessary?Communication is the key, and Dirk and John will learn that the hard way.
Relationships: John Egbert/Dirk Strider
Comments: 1
Kudos: 22





	I Want You to Call Me a Bitch

「♡」

Dirk liked everything about John. His intoxicatingly blue eyes, his buck toothed, infectious smile, his luscious black hair; even the way his long lashes would cast shadows on his face. There was no denying he was a handsome man, but that wouldn’t be enough to make a Strider fall in love. What made him helpless for that boy was the fact that, aside from his family, John was the only person who could really see through the cool, precise persona he’s built to himself, and that was no easy task.

His family was great and Dirk loved them dearly- but even if they cared deeply about Dirk they still were the Strilondes. They weren’t exactly the best when it came to deal with emotional issues; and unlike them, John was actually good with words when he needed to. He firmly believed communication is a great part of living in society, and always made a point to gently push the orange eyed boy – and the others, too – to try and talk about his feelings a bit more.

Dirk, in turn, even though not really caring about that stuff, still tried. For John. Just so he could see his brilliant smile once more, and his beautiful eyes full of pride directed at him. Those were pretty much the only source of light in his life at the moment. Because of that, Dirk called John his firefly.

With all of that going on for them – and Dave and Roxy being awesome wingmen -, it didn’t take too long for them to get together. They were happily in love and living together, their days full of laughter, irony and affectionate heckling. Dirk felt he was in heaven… but nothing lasts forever. They were 4 months, 1 week and 3 days into their relationship – yes, Dirk was counting, leave him alone – and John started acting a little weird. His eyes weren’t like glowing gems anymore. The smiles Dirk cherished so much weren’t the same. His kisses didn’t feel as passionate; his strong arms weren’t as warm when he held him lose. John felt really distant, and that fucked Dirk up.

The thought of the man he loved so much not loving him anymore drove him crazy. His mind was spinning, spiraling into another panic attack. He could just feel his insides being eaten by his sheer anxiety. He just couldn’t think straight, he couldn’t have another Jake. He was in too deep to end up with another failed relationship. He took a deep breath and squeezed his hands together to stop them form shaking, as he made a decision.

Even if he knew that conversation couldn’t be pleasant, he had to have it one time or another. He wanted- no, needed, his boyfriend back. Once his breathing normalized, it was like a huge weight was lifted off his chest. He saw with clarity for the first time in weeks, and that only encouraged him.

He looked around and realized he was in his workroom. He must have shut himself back there in his depression induced stupor, like always – he thought. Putting his hand on his jeans’ pockets, he felt for his phone and fished it out. Once he had t in his hand, his fingers automatically dialed a number that was all too familiar to him. If he knew him well – and he did –, John was probably flying around with his sister, Jade.

When Egbert picked up, Dirk felt his heart stop for a second. ‘’Hello?’’ Dirk heard his lover’s smooth and deep voice. ‘’Hey babe, it’s me. Are you busy?’’ he did his best not to let his voice shake. ‘’Not really. Why?’’ his voice sounded a little cold. ‘’I need you to come back home for a bit. We need to talk.’’ John sighed loudly ‘’Okay, I’m on my way.’’ before hanging up, Dirk said ‘’Oh, and John?’’ ‘’Yeah?’’ ‘’Tell Jade I said hi.’’ John chuckled softly and the blonde felt the all too familiar butterflies in his stomach. Before he could engage gay panic mode, Dirk hanged up. Maybe not everything was lost, after all.

「♡」

Dirk paced nervously through his living room, as time seems to have stopped. Just at the brink of overthinking, he heard keys clinking and the door soon swung open. John was there, as beautiful as ever. His hair ruffled by the wind, his eyes had soft dark circles around them from the nights of troubled sleep. As a sign of his uncharacteristic neglect with his appearance, his face had stubble and his lips were chapped. Oh, how he wishes he could moist them with his tongue- no, Dirk, that’s beside the point. Calm your tits, he thought to himself.

‘’Hey.’’ John said, walking towards his lover. ‘’I’m here, what do you need?’’ ‘’Um, so… let’s just… sit down first, okay?’’ Dirk said, doing his best not to stutter. The black haired man nodded and made his way to the couch, sitting down sloppily. Dirk trailed behind him and sat down beside his boyfriend. ‘’So, John...’’ he took the boy’s hand in his ‘’you know I love you very much. So much I think my arteries one day won’t take it anymore and just bust ope-’’ ‘’Dirk.’’ John said firmly, gently squeezing the other’s hand ‘’I know and I love you too, and however cute all that rambling is, could you please cut to the chase?’’

Okay, ouch. That, right there, is exactly what he was talking about. John’s words felt hollow, it was like he didn’t want to be around Dirk that much. He felt a pang of annoyance, but took a deep breath. ‘’Alright then.’’ he took his shades off to look his lover in his sky blue eyes ‘’What the fuck is going on with you?’’ John looked confused. You could just see the gears turning in his head. ‘’Um, excuse you? What do you mean?’’ if he wanted to play dumb, that was fine, then. Two can play this game.‘’I mean exactly what I said, Egbert. What’s the matter with you? You’ve been acting strange lately.’’ ‘’What are you even talking about, Dirk? I’m the same as always.’’

‘’The same my ass. I know you very well, John. I know there’s something you’re not telling me. Is it something I did?’’ John messed his hair nervously. ‘’Listen, I don’t wanna fight. It’s fine, really-’’ that was it, Dirk’s blood was boiling. He got up briskly. ‘’That’s bullshit and you know it.’’ he turned to face John ‘’There’s clearly something wrong and you just won’t say it. It’s quite ironic, dontcha think? John ‘communication is important’ Egbert refuses to have a conversation with his fucking BOYFRIEND.’’ He threw his hands in the air in frustration ‘’For fuck’s sake, we’re not children anymore. You can be honest with me.’’

John sighed in annoyance ‘’Okay, maybe there are a thing or two bothering me, but I know you haven’t been in the best headspace right now. I didn’t want to do anything to upset you.’’ he got up and made his way to the boy in front of him and tried to gently hold his arms. The attempt failed, however, as Dirk slapped his hands away from him, tangerine eyes dead. ‘’Oh that’s just fantastic. You’re pitying me.’’ ‘’No, Dirk, that’s not it. I just-’’ John began talking, but the shorter man gave him a dirty look.

‘’Save it. I don’t need your excuses.’’ he moved away. The blonde looked like he was about to cry, but the snide he hissed next wasn’t the least bit diluted. ‘’You know, John… that’s your problem. You’re a good boy and you like it.’’ he was approaching the ark haired man in front of him dangerously slowly ‘’You like being a good guy, the one who’s always gentle and never hurts anyone. You don’t want to leave that role and, of course, you want someone good by your side. You realized I’m not good and figured you’d try to fix me but...’’ he grabbed Johns collar and pulled him close until their mouths were inches from each other; the next words came as soft whispers, almost seductive purrs ‘’you realized a little too late that I’m too broken for you.’’ he released John’s collar from his grip and smirked.

‘’The thing, my darling, is that I’m tired of the so called ‘good boys’. I fell for your before because of your brutal honesty. You said what you had to, no filters, and that’s exactly what I need. Tough love, not just some soft fluffy shit – well, that, too, but not only. Not someone who shuts me off like that, giving lame excuses like ‘I didn’t want to hurt you’.’’ John felt drips of sweat on his forehead and swallowed hard. His breath hitched as he just listened.

‘’I want you to love me like you used to, John.’’ Dirk lifted the other boy’s chin with his index finger ‘’I want you to call me a bitch if you need to, fight me, hurt me, anything necessary to keep me in check. I’m scared of my own mind, I need that reassurance.’’

After that burst, the weight of his own words hit him and hit him HARD. Without realizing, he’s spurted out everything he’d been keeping to himself this past few weeks, ad he was afraid of the consequences. Once again he felt his anxiety creeping up, ready to wash him away in anguish and despair. His knees gave up and he felt himself falling as everything was going dark… until he saw it; light. His firefly had come once more to guide him out of the dark.

John had knelt down beside him and was embracing him tightly. He was whispering softly to his ear, calming him down. Helping him to breathe better. Once Dirk recomposed himself, John helped him up and their lips softly touched. When they broke the kiss, John lovingly smiled at his boyfriend. ‘’Heh, you sure put on a show, Strider.’’ ‘’Fuck you.’’ the blonde answered as he nested his face on his lover’s chest.

‘’Seriously now.’’ John said, running his fingers softly on the smaller man’s arms ‘’I get what you mean… we really need to talk. Prepare for some serious ass whooping, you’ve been quite he insufferable little prick lately.’’ Dirk raised his head and pecked the taller man’s lips ‘’I wouldn’t have it any other way.’’

「♡」

That night they talked everything out and resolved their problems, feeling they were the luckiest men in the world for having each other. Not everything was sorted out, but that was enough. They had all of eternity to figure it out.

**Author's Note:**

> The song 'F*ck Me', by Vernon Jane, inspired this fic. It was intense listening to it while writing lol  
> Anyway, as always, hope yall like it ;)
> 
> ~Xo Anya


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